Surviving Middle School at Aperture Science
by CaveStoryNinja
Summary: What would happen if the robots were transferred into human, preteen bodies and sent off to middle school? Would they survive?And would the cake stay a lie? Glados, Wheatley, Chell, ATLAS, P-body, and AI GLaDOS are about to find out.
1. This Cube is heavy

**Author's Note**

**Hello! This is my 1****st**** story, and I intend it to be at least 20 Chapters long. I'm gonna make tons of stories. I love Portal, so that's where I'll begin. Thanks, and enjoy!**

**(By the way, this takes place after the events of Portal 2.)**

Chell was still wandering in that corn field. That obviously got boring after about a week or so (only since she hadn't been outside for, like, 20 years) so she decided to head back into Aperture.

_Hey, _Chell thought. _Maybe they'll give me cake! I am so hungry, and GLaDOS totally owes me for promising cake and then trying to drop me into a fiery pit of death. Oh darn. I forgot; The Cake Is a Lie._

So she wandered her way back to Aperture, dying of hunger….. for cake. Why did she want cake so bad, you wonder? Well, she hadn't eaten in what, 20 years or so?

Finally, she found the shed. Companion Cube lay burned on the ground. She kissed it and apologized for murdering it. She explained that she couldn't pass into the next Test Chamber unless she burned her best buddy. She picked it up. It was quite a bit heavier than it was when the Portal Gun held it. She stumbled around, trying to carry it back into the science institute. The door was open a crack. Obviously GLaDOS had slammed it so hard that it was open just enough to get back inside of Aperture. Chell was relieved. She could finally see GLaDOS and Wheatley (oh wait, he was in space with Space Core) and ATLAS and P-body…. She was overjoyed. The elevator started to head down. Her stomach lurched. Would GLaDOS still try to kill her? She was Still Alive, and Wanted Her Gone. It was too late now…. Fate had to take its way.


	2. The cake remains a lie

**Author's Note: Hey guys! My 2nd chapter is published the same day as my 1st. Whaddaya know. Just figured I'd say, this story is actually based on my life at middle school. My friends and I have recently been posing as Wheatley (me,) Chell, ATLAS, P-Body, and Glados (not the AI, I do a good impression of GLaDOS so I pose as her.) It's been extremely fun and I thought it'd be cool to share what's been going on. So much for 20 chapters. (EDIT: I'm now at 22 chapters :D)Even then, I may write separate stories following the same storyline. Oh well, enjoy chapter 2!**

The elevator finally reached GLaDOS's chamber. Chell momentarily stopped breathing. But wait- GLaDOS was absent. Where could she be? Testing with those Turret Cubes Wheatley had invented? As if.

Chell didn't know what to expect. Holding the extremely heavy cube, she stepped forward. It was cold. Nice background for a dark spooky enrichment center. Chell gently placed the cube on the ground. An automatic door opened and scared the living daylights out of her. She peered inside, wondering what could wait for her. She grabbed her cube and tiptoed inside. She heard a familiar voice.

It was GLaDOS.

Chell almost squealed. Although GLaDOS was an evil neurotoxin-happy Artificial Intelligence (AI), Chell was happy to see her again. It was almost more exciting than shooting her first portal. She noticed a brand-new Portal Gun on a pedestal inside. GLaDOS seemed to be enhancing it. The three-portal gun, maybe? No, Chell. Focus. She had to get inside. It was a simple few steps to getting inside. But what would GLaDOS do? Would she be killed with neurotoxin? Spike plates? Had GLaDOS been expecting her to return? This was a tough choice. It was as easy to step back into the elevator and head back into the cool fresh air as it was to walk on in and get killed with neurotoxin. Crud, this was a tough choice. Oh, wait- Turrets. Chell had forgotten. She could also be ambushed by Turrets. Chell swallowed hard. It was going to be risky- but GLaDOS did say that killing Chell was hard. So she could just waltz on in and say hello. Oh, joy. She was already walking into the chamber.

GLaDOS was working on the Portal Gun and muttering something about being happy that the Space Core was gone. Chell tapped her mainframe. GLaDOS turned. "What is it, ATLA-…"

GLaDOS froze and stared at Chell. The silent protagonist in a pair of Long-Fall boots had returned. She didn't know what to say. Oh, my gosh. She was back.

"Oh, if it isn't [Subject name here.] Here to return your boots, huh?"

Chell shook her head.

"No? Then what do you want?"

Chell opened her mouth. "I…."

GLaDOS froze again. Chell spoke. She actually spoke. This couldn't be her.

"I wanted… to… test."

GLaDOS's amber eye lit up. "Oh. So you can talk. That doesn't make me like you any more, you know."

Chell nodded.

"All right. You will go through more tests. Take this Portal Device. You know how it works. The Test Chambers are that way. Go away now."

Chell grabbed the item. It felt so nice to hold an ASHPD again. Then, Chell remembered something. Her face went all funny.

"What do you want now?"

Chell pointed at the Companion Cube. "Why… did… you… give it to me again?" Chell was getting used to this 'talking' thing.

"It was trash. And who better to give a piece of garbage to than the monster who just wouldn't leave?" GLaDOS answered. "Just a piece of junk. Now, go test already."

Chell's face lit up. "Cake?" She asked.

GLaDOS lurched. "You aren't getting cake. It isn't for you. It's for...never mind. JUST GO AWAY NOW."

Chell shook her head.

"You aren't getting cake."

Chell frowned.

"Will you PLEASE go away?"

Chell shook her head.

"Well how about this. THE. CAKE. IS. A. LIE."

Chell sighed. I knew it, she thought.

"Well, we have a new testing center. It is called the Aperture Science Institute of Learning. ATLAS, P-body, and a copy of myself have already been transferred into preteen host bodies. It's funny, actually, because some of the memories of our host bodies remained and they now are acting sort of like them. You can test there, but you have to promise to leave me alone. Understood?"

Chell nodded excitedly.

"Good. Now lay here, and I'll knock you out. It won't take long, but when you awake, you will be in a new body. Lay down. Good, that's it. Now, here we go…"

**Author's note: The last chapter was really short, so I made this one more than double its length. Chapter 3 is on its way as I type.**


	3. Meeting Wheatley and Pbody

**Author's Note: **

**This is where things start to be based off of my friends and I. Short author's not this time. Enjoy chapter 3.**

Chell opened her eyes. She was sitting when she awoke. At a…. desk? She looked down at a worksheet with the name ADRIENNE at the top. Adrienne? Just what was going on?

"Psst! Hey, Chell! I got a new update! Now I can comprehend math problems! Oh, yeah. You don't talk. That's fine."

Chell stared at a not short, but not super tall either boy with dark brown hair with a blank expression. The name CONNOR was written on his sheet.

"Oh, right. Chell, it's me. P-body!"

Chell's eyes widened.

"Didn't GLaDOS tell you?"

Chell nodded.

"Oh. All right. You just didn't recognize me, huh?"

Chell shook her head.

"We'll see ATLAS at Lunch Hour. I'll introduce you."

"Ok." Chell answered.

P-body stopped. "Wait, did you just talk?"

"Yeah. I just learned to copy GLaDOS."

"All right! Listen. My update also had GLaDOS informing me that Wheatley had dropped back in from space. Space core with him. Wheatley's going into a human preteen body like us. He should be here within the day at some point."

Chell, with a shocked look on her face, slowly nodded. "Hey, P-body, why is CONNOR written on your sheet and ADRIENNE on mine?"

"Well, they're sort of like code names. They're the names of our host bodies. We will be referred to by other people with those names, so get used to it, 'kay?"

Chell nodded.

About an hour later, a short boy with baby blue eyes and dirty blonde hair stepped into the classroom.

He stepped over and sat next to Adrienne- err, Chell.

"Chell? Is that you?"

Chell nodded. "Who are you?"

"It's me! Wheatley! I just wanna say that I am soooo sorry about almost killing you."

"Sure. I'm not falling for that again. You can be as sorry as you want. You went almost as insane as GLaDOS. Nice try. Never again, Wheatley. You'll REALLY have to make yourself trustworthy."

Wheatley felt as if his insides had literally been torn apart.

The bell rang. Lunch hour.

"Let's go!" P-body invited.


	4. Portal Guns aren't for Relaxed Testing

**Author's Note:**

**Hooray for 4****th**** chapter. Let's just get down to business. Enjoy!**

Chell sat across from P-body, ATLAS, and Wheatley at Lunch Hour. Next to her sat a little bit heavy, brown-haired kid with a unibrow. He was mostly quiet, until everyone else stopped talking…

"Hey! I got an iPod with Bloons Tower Defense and a Dinosaur Shooting game! You have to like, kill these Velociraptors and T. Rexes! Oh and I also got Doodle Jump. It's so fun. Oh and the other day I was eating ice cream and…"

Chell barely listened, more just stared at him, wondering when he would finally shut up.

Lunch Hour was only about 20 minutes long, not quite an hour. Chell had this new thing called a 'sandwich' ATLAS had said, it tasted pretty good, but she still secretly wanted cake, even though it remained a lie.

Back at class, Wheatley once again sat next to Chell. They all had worksheets to do. Math worksheets. P-body looked at Chell with a wide grin. She thought for a moment. _Oh yeah. His update._

Chell wrote ADRIENNE at the top of her paper, as she was instructed to do. P-body wrote CONNOR, ATLAS wrote ADAM, and Wheatley wrote GARETH.

Chell was happy to not have to be monitored by GLaDOS while she was in these Relaxed Testing Chambers. Thinking of GLaDOS reminded her of the AI's copy: Glados. They hadn't met yet.

In the hallway after Math Class, Chell asked P-body who's body Glados was using.

"Over there," P-body pointed at a slightly tall girl with dirty blonde hair, like Wheatley's.

"Her real name is Emily, but that's just the host body. Yup. That's Glados."

"Ok, cool. Thanks." Chell walked over to Glados to greet her. "Hi, Glados!"

"Who the heck are YOU?" Glados asked in a strict tone.

_That's DEFINITELY Glados. _Chell thought. "It's me, Chell!"

Glados froze. "CHELL? THE CHELL?" Glados was freaking out.

"Calm yourself. Yes, it's me."

Glados looked like she was about to blow a fuse. "Why are you here?" She yelled.

"Jeez, stop yelling. You're acting like a complete maniac. Now listen, GLaDOS sent me in here to test. Where are all of the Test Chambers? I have a Portal Gun, but all it's doing is taking up space in my bag."

Space core, watching the enrichment center monitors in the AI's room, heard Chell say Space.

"SPACE!"

Chell was sick of Relaxed Testing. She wanted to use her Portal Gun. As a joke, she shot a Portal on one wall, and another Portal on another wall. What she DIDN'T know was that GLaDOS DID have cameras on the ceilings, they just looked different. GLaDOS was extremely angry about Chell doing this, and made a call over the intercom for Chell to come to AI Chamber 1. Chell came. GLaDOS turned to her with an infuriated look.

"How could you use that Portal Gun? It's not allowed in Relaxed Test Chambers!"

"It was just… a joke!"

"Yeah, so you think it's a joke? I'll show YOU joke. You do any of that EVER again, and I'll remove your Bone Marrow! It's not funny at all! That goes for EVERYONE, too. Besides Wheatley."

"What happens to Wheatley? I thought you hated him more than me for putting you into a Potato Battery and…"

"ENOUGH! For Wheatley, he gets put in a room full of cake."

"LUCKY!"

"You didn't let me finish. And he CAN'T EAT ANY, or else I kill him with Neurotoxin."

"Unreal…"

"Shut up already! Listen, the point here is, don't use ANY actual Testing Material until you DO Test. That won't be for a little while, so just hang in there. You didn't ever actually have to go to school. You were in a stasis. Unlike me, I wasn't either sleeping or testing all my life. I was Caroline then, remember? I had to go to school. Unlike you. Now go away. Go Relaxed Testing. Now just leave me be. Stop being such a pest already. Leave. NOW. Wheatley's looking for you."

Chell headed back to the relaxed chambers. She caught up with Wheatley. All he had to say was that he needed cake. Soon. Chell handed him a chocolate Tootsie Pop and he started sucking on it.

"Almost as good as cake…"


	5. The cake is no longer a lie

Author's Note:

HELLO! I hadn't written any chapters in a couple days, and some kinda funny stuff has been going on. So, here goes Chapter 5. But BTW, check out Msushi100's new fic, Portal 3. It's cool. We're pals. Portal 2 Co-op FTW.

A couple days later, Wheatley strolled into the classroom wearing a pair of Black Boots.

"Hey, Chell! Check it! Long-Fall Boots, just like you!"

"Wheatley, shhh."

"Ok, sorry. I'm just excited. Now I can jump off of the new bleachers in the gym and not land flat on my face!"

ATLAS chimed in. "You said it yourself, you don't have braces on your spine. You'd still probably die."

"Shut up, ATLAS. The bleachers aren't even that high."

"Just pointing it out…"

Wheatley walked over to Glados, who was shoving a piece of cake down her throat.

Wheatley popped over. "I want some!"

"This is for testing. NOT just for the heck of it. Test results: Delicious."

"Exactly. Can I test with you?"

"Not on your life."

"Why are you so mean?"

"Listen, as much as I would love to kill you, I have many tests to do."

Wheatley grumbled and walked away. Chell smiled as he plopped back down into his chair.

"It's what you get for putting her into a Potato Battery."

"Oh, just be quiet. Listen, I REALLY want cake. Now, she owes me."

"No, she doesn't."

"In my opinion she does."

"Well, not in HER opinion, which is the only thing that motivates her."

Wheatley grunted. He pulled his Tootsie Pop out of its wrapper and sucked on it. Chell put on a serious face. "Stop being such a nuisance to Glados. She told me your special punishment."

"Bone marrow. I know."

"Nope. Different."

"Then what?"

"You get put in a room full of cake…"

"SWEET! I mean, oh, I NEVER want THAT to happen."

"…but if you eat ANY, you get killed with neurotoxin."

"Oh. Delightful."

"YOU OWE ME CAKE!"

"I do NOT!"

Wheatley and Glados (yes, I'm breaking the fourth wall) were being out of character. Instead of being mean and obnoxious, Glados was resisting handing over the cake to Wheatley. Wheatley was more… asking for cake, instead of Chell.

"Gimme the cake!"

"Listen up, moron! I said NO! NO ONE gets cake!"

Chell sighed sadly.

"You OWE me!"

"When did I ever say that I'd give you cake?"

"You didn't! I just want it!"

"Well, you aren't getting it, so go away!"

`Wheatley sighed. "Fine. You totally owe me, though."

P-body popped over. "Wheatley, stop. The cake is a lie. Don't bother."

Chell later on popped over to talk to Wheatley.

"Hey, Wheatley, I just got the recipe for the cake. I'm making it tonight. Want a slice?"

"YESYESYESYESYESYES- I mean, ummm, yeah, sure. That'd be nice. I would enjoy that."

"Cool. I'll bring it Friday. See you at Lunch Hour."

Wheatley was ecstatic. The cake was no longer a lie.


	6. Wheatley fails at Uno

**Author's note:**

**New topics are finally introduced. Can I have a review, stating whether or not I should include Chelly (Chell x Wheatley)? IDK… Maybe, I'll think. If no reviews saying anything about that, I already have a plan which I might use anyway, even if I do get a review….**

It was Thursday. The cake was headed Wheatley's way… one more day. But now, it was Day 1 Clubs. The Aperture Science Enrichment Center of Learning had a 6-day rotating schedule. Today was day 1. Wheatley coincidentally had the same club as Chell. Chell wasn't quite sure if it was intentional. Chell invited Wheatley to play Uno with her and 2 other girls, named Holly and Puja.

After the cards had just been dealt, another girl came over.

"Hey, can I play Uno with you?"

"Sure," Wheatley answered. "What's your name?"

"Victoria. I'm Victoria."

"I'm Wheatley. This is Chell, this is Puja, and this is Holly."

"Hi." Chell, Holly and Puja all said.

The cards were then re-dealt, and the game began.

"Are you serious?" Wheatley looked stupid freaking out.

"What's your problem?" Chell was trying not to laugh at his face.

"I got ALL SEVENS." Wheatley held up his hand.

Chell, Puja, Holly and Victoria all laughed.

"It's not funny!"

"Actually, Wheatley, if you could see your facial expression right now, you'd be laughing too."

Everyone except Wheatley starting laughing hysterically.

"You're so funny." Wheatley sighed.

Next period was Science. Wheatley sort of enjoyed this class. He sat next to a boy named Jake. Behind him sat Chell. He tried to avoid communication with her, since a note he had tried to take had been confiscated once already. It wasn't quite worth it.

The class had begun to work on a worksheet. Chell wrote ADRIENNE at the top, and Wheatley wrote GARETH. Wheatley liked watching ATLAS write ADAM and P-body write CONNOR. He looked around. They didn't seem to be in the classroom. He decided to write a quick note to Chell.

_Where are ATLAS and P-body? _He wrote.

_They transferred out. _Chell replied. _Now stop writing notes before we get in trouble._

Wheatley threw away the note. He sighed. Now he would only see them at Lunch Hour.

Let's check in on GLaDOS and Space Core for a little while.

GLaDOS was currently working on a new piece of equipment: Aperture Science Official Emancipation Gloves. Now, there would be sensors by the end of the Test Chambers, and any unauthorized equipment that passed by would be vaporized. These gloves were to be put on any Test Subjects. They were specially made for the Test Chambers in which the Emancipation Grills had been disabled.

Space, meanwhile, was upset. He had made it to space. Finally, he was THERE! But now… It was all taken away…

Wheatley had caused it. They could still be there now. What happened? THAT'S another story.

Yes, it was Lunch Hour. One more day till cake. Chell had brought Pixy Stix in. Wheatley chugged one down.

What was Chell thinking?


	7. Wheatley's insane sugar rush

Author's Note:

Hooray for Chapter 7. I'm lovin' this, and my story's getting more people's attention. Thanks, guys. You make this lots of fun.

Wheatley chugged down the Pixy Stick. His eyes opened as wide as dinner plates. Next thing Chell knew, he couldn't stop.

"OHMAN!"

"What?"

"ITSSOGOOD!"

"Wheatley, chill out."

"IMGOINGCRAZY!"

"You think I haven't put that together yet?"

"HELPMECHELL!"

"Help you What?"

"STOPBEINGNUTS!"

"That's beyond my control. Ask GLaDOS. Maybe she'll lend you some Confusion Gas."

"NOWAYTHATSABADIDEA!"

"Well then, don't ask for my help."

So with that, Wheatley ran randomly shrieking through the halls. He eventually found P-Body's homeroom.

"PBODYIMONASUGARRUSH!"

"Whoa, no kidding. You're going nuts. You do know about the sugar LOW, right?"

"WHATSTHAT?"

"You crash after a few minutes of a sugar rush."

"AWWHAT?"

"You heard me."

"INEEDHELP!"

"Your problem, bro. Not mine."

Wheatley continued running and shrieking till he came across ATLAS's classroom.

"ATLASYOUHAVETOHELPME!"

"With your crazy sugar rush?"

"HOWDIDYOUKNOW?"

"You think I couldn't tell?"

"WELLWHATEVERJUSTHELPME!"

"By doing what, exactly?"

"SOMETHING! ANYTHING!"

"Go back to class with Chell."

"BUTI-"

"Don't argue. Trust me. Go."

Wheatley ran screeching back to his homeroom with Chell. He stood next to her.

"How's that sugar rush working out for ya?"

And with that, Wheatley collapsed onto the floor.

"There's the sugar low."

"Ugh…"

Wheatley sat up, rubbing his head. "Where am I?"

"You're at The Institute of learning. Grab your backpack. We need to head back to the bedchamber."

"Oog… Fine."

Wheatley grabbed Chell's hand and they walked towards their bedchamber.

"Hey, Chell, do you… (how do you say it…) "like" anyone?"

"Um, well, you're my friend…"

"LIKE-like."

"No, not really."

Wheatley sighed. "Oh, uh, NO! me neither. Just… trying to start a conversation."

Inside, he was actually really upset that Chell didn't LIKE-like him.

Author's Note:

Tons of people are gonna ask, so let me just clear this up: I do NOT actually like Chell. I mean, she's my friend, but I don't have a crush on her. That was my 'idea' that I talked about in the author's note of the last chapter. Ok. That's all.


	8. Killing Cubedos part 1

**Author's Note: Hello! Welcome to chapter 8. This is the first chapter that has just a little romance…**

Now the Companion Cube was in a human body. Ugh. As if Wheatley wasn't enough.

He had a girlfriend already- Glados. They were always together. What the cube DIDN'T know was that GLaDOS had asked Glados to perform an experiment on human love.

"Chell, what's love?" Asked Wheatley.

"Well, love is when two people really like each other, and want to be with each other and stuff."

"Well, Companion Cube is always with Glados, and I can't annoy her when he is."

"Good."

"But I WANT to!"

"Wheatley, give her a break."

"I WILL give her a break! A break-UP!" Wheatley laughed and ran away.

"THIS I GOTTA see." Chell followed him.

Glados was secretly writing notes about love as she spent time with Companion Cube.

"Impossible…..to make….him go…away." She jotted down the note and hid the clipboard.

"So, can you help me speak more?" The cube asked.

"Not now."

"But why?"

"Cuz I don't FEEL like it."

Companion Cube grunted and folded his arms. "So bored…"

"Will you be quiet? I'm BUSY!" Glados shushed him and turned back to the clipboard. "Never….shuts….up.

GLaDOS was receiving all the notes Glados was jotting… and using them all.


	9. Killing Cubedos part 2

Author's Note: HELLO! You're probably wondering why the last chapter was so short, right? Well, I made and posted it in school, during a free period. So, that's that. Part 2, AWAY!

Wheatley was thinking of killing Cubedos as revenge for Glados not handing over the cake. His uttermost desire. He hid behind a wall and started talking to himself.

"Just you two wait… I'm gonna DESTROY this little thing you call love. Who's the moron NOW, Glados?"

He snuck over to Companion Cube. "This is your conscience… Glados doesn't really love you…"

"Shut up!"

"Pardon?" Glados had a look of shock on her face.

"Umm... I was talking to… my conscience?"

"It can't hear you."

"Yes I can!" Wheatley stood up.

"Hey! You little dork! She DOES actually love me!"

Glados blushed and hesitated. Companion cube looked at her. "What's wrong?"

"I… Uh…."

"Go on. Tell him." Wheatley folded his arms and smiled a smile of victory.

"I…. it was just an experiment. I hate to say this, but…"

Wheatley got even happier.

"It was a success. I really do like being with you." She hugged him.

Wheatley's jaw dropped. "WHAT?"

Companion cube smiled. "Now go away."

Wheatley sighed. "No fair."


	10. Overflowing Macaroni and brownies

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter was based on a real event, believe it or not. Sorry, really short this time.**

Wheatley was at home today. His assigned Grandmother was going to cook brownies.

"Brownies? What are they?"

"What do you MEAN, what are they? They're delicious chocolate squares!"

"Can I make them?"

"Erm… You can…try?"

Wheatley grabbed all of the ingredients and got to work.

"4 cups sugar….SUGAR?" Wheatley was dying to finish them now! "Now, 2 eggs, chocolate mix, water…" He added all of the ingredients and then stirred… 'thoroughly' as the recipe said.

"Now, put it in the oven and cook for 30 min. "Ok. Here goes…"

Wheatley shoved the tray with globs of brown goo into the oven. Looked disgusting now, but he couldn't wait for them to be finished.

As the brownies cooked, Wheatley's Dad talked about cooking dinner.

"Can I do it? I just cooked brownies, I can sure as heck cook macaroni."

"I don't know about that… All right, ok. Try it. But ask if you need help."

"Ok!"

Wheatley grabbed the box of macaroni and began cooking. He poured macaroni into a pot of boiling water.

"I'm really hungry, so let's just pour in the whole box!" And he did. Wheatley poured the ENTIRE BOX of macaroni into the pot. It overflowed with macaroni. _Oh, dang. _Wheatley thought.

Later, dinner was served. Lots of macaroni and lemonade. It was enjoyed, but everyone was beyond full afterward.


	11. GLaDOS Speaks Wheatlian

**Author's Note:**

**Let's just get to the story, shall we? **

Wheatley was having a terrible day. GLaDOS had taken over his body and could talk through him, see out of his eyes, and even CONTROL him.

"Chell, can you help me? GLaDOS implanted a microchip in my brain when she transferred me into a human body. Now she's using me! Help!"

"Why would I help you? This will be hysterical!" Chell smiled and walked away.

"No! PLEASE! Help this poor core!"

"Let me think… No."

"_This ought to be fun." _Said GLaDOS through Wheatley. "_Now, it'll be simple to monitor the enrichment center. Call it payback, moron." _

"I put you into a potato because your stupid body made me go insane! Seriously, that wasn't intentional! And besides, what else could I have put your mainframe in? An apple? What would Valve have called you then? 'GLapple'? (Heh, GLapple.)"

"_Why you little…"_

Now Wheatley was hitting himself. Imagine how STUPID that would have looked.

Chell walked back over. "Wheatley, what on Earth are you doing?"

"Chell! It's GLaDOS! She's using me!"

"No way, Wheatley. She CAN'T. Nice try."

"Nooo! Chell, seriously!"

"Goodbye."

"NOOOOO!"


	12. Chell's Birthday Part 1

**Author's Note: Hello everyone. I haven't posted any new chapters in a while, since I was grounded. Here is the next chapter!**

Yesterday, Chell had invited Wheatley to her birthday party. It was an Espionage party. He was extremely excited.

"I can't wait!"

"Wheatley, you have to get her a gift. It's the proper thing to do, since you're going to her party." said the Companion Cube.

" A gift? Why?"

"Because. It's just what people do. Normal people, anyway."

Wheatley sighed and headed out to the Emerald Square Mall. He found a store called 'Hot Topic' in which he found a Portal 2 70's-style movie shirt.

"This is nice. Chell should like this." He bought it, and brought it home, where the Companion Cube came over to teach him the art of 'wrapping'.

After the gift was finally wrapped, Wheatley went to bed happily.

The next day was Chell's party, in a place called '5 Wits' inside of ANOTHER place called 'Patriot Place'.

Eventually, he accidentally stumbled across it, where Chell happily greeted him.

The Curiosity Core was also there, and also greeted Wheatley. He decided that it was going to be a great day.

To start their Espionage Mission, the group of kids headed into a 'Rug Shop'.

A saleswoman came out to greet them. "Hello, and welcome to our rug shop. Here, we have an amazing sale!" She opened a sketch pad to a note, which said 'THIS ROOM IS BUGGED'.

They mumbled among themselves, wondering what the message meant.

She lowered her voice. "Listen. There are blue flashing 'bugs' in which we have to deactivate with these devices," She took out four scanners. "Swipe them over the bugs like this… (BUG DISARMED) Until they are all gone."

Everyone took a scanner and started swiping the bugs. Chell did most of the work.

Finally, they found all of the bugs. Then, they popped a disk that Chell had received at the beginning of the mission into a Disk Player, in which they received their Mission Details. Next, they walked into a secret elevator.

"This is the coolest rug shop ever." Wheatley said, smiling. Chell laughed.

The elevator began to move down. Then, all of a sudden, the lights went out.

"Remember! If we begin to plummet, lay on the ground to cushion the impact!" Chell called out.

Everyone screamed. The elevator wasn't even moving. It was just dark. It wasn't even really dark, since some kids with their iPods were lighting the place up. Turret had been transferred, and he was part of the mission.

"I have an iPod! I can light it!" Turret held up his iPod, lighting the elevator. Everyone sighed a sigh of relief. The elevator started moving again, and the lights turned back on. Then, their Mission Leader opened a door, in which lead to a room full of lasers, in which could burn, set off alarms, pretty much anything… No one knew.

So with that, everyone started crawling, and jumping, and ducking, and hopping through the hall of lasers. Turret accidentally tripped a laser. Everyone ducked to the ground. A security guard didn't notice that they were here. He just walked away, mumbling something about rats always getting in.

The group made it to the other end and pulled a switch. The lasers deactivated, and terminals lit up. They had to press lights to change the terminals' light patterns. They all shut down, and the ventilation shaft stopped. They headed through, ready for whatever was coming their way.


	13. Chell's Birthday Part 2

"Yay! What's behind this shaft?"

"Wheatley, shhh."

"But WHY?"

"So we don't get caught by those dang security guards!"

"SORRY. Geez."

The group headed through a weird door into a new room. Curiosity came up to Wheatley and stood close to his side. He nudged her away a bit.

"Look at THAT! What's this do? What's that? OOOOO-What's THAT?"

Curiosity started pressing buttons galore.

"Curiosity, STOP! You're gonna get us caught!" Chell scolded.

"Sorry…."

A box rose out of the floor. _Oh no, _Chell thought. _What has Curiosity done?_

The box opened. And out rose….a BOMB? Wheatley screamed, ran around in circles, and smashed into a wall.

"…ow."

The bomb had 4 terminals. Turret and Wheatley took one, Chell and Curiosity took another, and the rest of the group split to control the others. To disarm the bomb, commands popped up on peoples' screens. But the thing is… The command had to be executed at a different terminal. Everyone was screaming to each other, trying to disarm the bomb.

'BOMB DISARMED.'

Everyone cheered. But that all came to a stop when-

'BOMB RE-ARMED.'

"Quick! Get into this room!" Chell screamed. A large door opened and everyone piled in. The door closed just as the bomb was counting down. "3…2…1…"

A large explosion rattled the room. Everyone piled onto the floor in panic. …Except for Chell, that is. She wasn't nervous. She had gone up against a homicidal AI who had neurotoxin at her beck and call. It took a little more than that to get her scared.

After stuffing batteries of certain voltages into small Power Terminals, the door opened to a room with a completely destroyed box and lots of smoke. An extremely damaged screen flicked on.

"_Well done, agents. We have discovered who the spy from our competing organization was. That lady who gave you your mission details at the beginning? She wasn't who she said she was. We have now arrested her. Well done. You may now return home."_

The group met upstairs for presents and….Wheatley's dream. CAKE. THE cake. There was the Black Forest cake… But also a Vanilla Crazy Cake! Wheatley couldn't stop himself from staring….and drooling.

After everyone was served pizza and cake, it was time for Chell to open her gifts. She opened a set of clay creations, lots of gift cards, and a nerf gun. She was pretty sure that was it. Until Wheatley walked over, holding a medium-sized gift. Chell tore it open, to see the Portal 2 70's style shirt… with her standing in the direct center. Her eyes widened.

She jumped up.

Threw the shirt on the table.

Ran up to Wheatley.

And gave him a huge hug. "THANK YOU!" She yelled. She let go of him, then sat back down.

Wheatley's eyes were as big as dinner plates. "Did you… Did you guys SEE that? She hugged me! She REALLY, TRULY HUGGED ME!" He started laughing happily.

After most people had left, Chell shooed everyone out of the room… minus Wheatley and Curiosity.

"All right. GLaDOS, I know you're in there."

_"No, I'm not."_

"Look, whether you think it or not, I do NOT have brain damage. I heard you! Now, I believe you owe me a gift."

_"And why is that?"_

"Because it's my birthday, you idiot! You seriously haven't pieced that together yet?"

_"Robots don't celebrate birthd-"_

"Listen! I am FED UP with your rudeness! Whether robots celebrate birthdays or not, NORMAL humans do! NO COMMENTS. Now please…"

GLaDOS prepared herself for the worst.

"I'd like you to sing me 'Still Alive'."

GLaDOS smirked. _"Fine. That's all you want? Then here."_

"Wait." Chell pulled out a video camera.

_ "Are you serious?"_

"Quite."

_"Let's see if I remember this…"_

Chell hit RECORD.

This was a triumph.

I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS

It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Aperture Science:

We do what we must because we can

For the good of all of us

except for the ones who are dead

But there's no sense crying over every mistake

You just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake

And the science gets done and you make a neat gun

For the people who are still alive

I'm not even angry

I'm being so sincere right now

Even though you broke my heart and killed me

And tore me to pieces

And threw every piece into a fire

As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!

Now these points of data make a beautiful line

And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time

So I'm glad I got burned

Think of all the things we learned

For the people that are still alive

Go ahead and leave me

I think I prefer to stay inside

Maybe you'll find someone else to help you

Maybe Black Mesa

That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance

Anyway this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist

Look at me still talking, when there's science to do

When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you

I've experiments to run, there is research to be done

On the people who are still alive

And believe me I am still alive

I'm doing science and I'm still alive

I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive

While you are dying I'll be still alive

And when you're dead I'll be still alive

STILL ALIVE

still alive

"_Happy 'BIRTHDAY', Chell… I suppose."_

Chell smiled joyfully, and Wheatley started cracking up.


	14. What's a Donovan?

It was getting closer and closer to Finals Week at the institute of learning. At the moment, there was a huge Spanish Project that had to be passed in. Wheatley was partnered with a nice, funny girl named Olivia, who preferred to be called Livvy.

"Ok, Livvy. You ready?"

"Yeah. Our project probably isn't gonna be too great… Prepare yourself."

Wheatley gulped, and started to present his project on Mexico. He was really fluent in Spanish, but half the time had no idea what on Earth he was saying.

They finished presenting their what-was-supposed-to-be-10-minutes-long project. It seemed like 10 minutes to Wheatley… Even though it turned out to be 3.

Up next was Chell. She was a nervous wreck. Wheatley felt so bad for her.

After Chell finished presenting, her face was as red as a tomato. She breathed a sigh of relief and sat back down. Wheatley quietly congratulated her. She smiled.

Chell had an announcement the next day.

"I'm leaving."

"WHAT?" Wheatley said unhappily. "Like, forever?"

"No, calm yourself. Just for a bit. I'm going to meet the Doctor and take a ride through time and space in the Tardis."

"Tardis?"

"It's a time-traveling thingy that looks like an old-fashioned telephone booth."

"All right then… Well, you can go. I'll inform Turret, ATLAS and P-Body, and Companion Cube. Bye."

Chell collapsed, and woke up again moments after.

"What? Where am I?"

"Adrienne, it's me, Wheatley."

"Adrienne? My name is Claudia. Claudia Donovan? Warehouse 13 agent?"

"Please do me a favor and explain what a 'Donovan' is."

At that moment, Turret walked over.

"Hey, Wheatley. Hey, Chell. I'm hungry. When's lunch?"

"WHO IS CHELL?"

"Hey, Turret. It's in like, an hour or so, I think."

"Ok, thanks- Wait, what do you mean, 'Who's Chell'?"

"I mean, WHO. IS. CHELL. Are you deaf?"

"Partly…"

"Hey, hey! Claudia, don't be so mean. Turret, Chell went somewhere, and Adrienne didn't return to her body. Now, it's… uh… 'Claudia', right?"

"(Sigh) YES…"

After Geography (Wheatley's least favorite period), it was Cards Club time before lunch.

"Hey, Holly! Hey, Puja!"

"Wheatley, I read your FanFiction…" Holly began.

"FanFiction? What?"

"Oh. Right. The Fourth Wall. Anyway, You spelt my name wrong. Pooja's too."

Wheatley looked confused. "I did?"

"Yeah."

"Well, how DO you spell them?"

"H-O-L-L-I-E, and P-O-O-J-A."

Wheatley snorted. "Pooja?" He giggled. "That's how you spell it?"

Pooja scowled. Wheatley burst into a laughing fit.

After the Uno cards were dealt, the game began.

Hollie had a look of shock on her face.

"What's wrong?" Wheatley and Claudia asked at the same time.

Hollie held out her hand. "I've received your curse," She said, holding a hand of all yellows. Wheatley, Pooja and Claudia burst into laughter.


	15. A Girl Named Midnight

**Author's Note:** Ok, so that last chapter was really hard to understand. Here's a little clarification; when someone wants to 'switch' who currently occupies the host body, they pass out, and then awaken, with the personality of whoever they switched into. Chell normally would have switched into Adrienne, but a data corruption caused her to awaken as Claudia Donovan (Warehouse 13, in case u didn't know). Hope that helps a little… Otherwise, just ask with the POWER OF REVIEWING! Well anyway, I invited FeepTheNinja and Xelac (authors on Fanfic) to be in my story. HOORAY- THEY BOTH SAID YES! Feep's character is known as Midnight Darkria, and Xelac is known as…well, Xelac.

P.S.: Adding to the author's note, when the characters switch out, they return to their normal bodies. That's the only way out of the Institute of learning. Like I said, leave a review if you need any more clarification… Otherwise, I apologize for the… wow, extremely long author's note. Here you go!

It was the fourth period of the day- Lunch Time! This was everyone's favorite subject… even if it wasn't educational.

"Hey, who's that?" Wheatley took a huge bite out of his sandwich.

"I'm not sure." Chell looked over suspiciously at a girl, a bit taller than her, with electric-blue irises and white eyes. She wore a long-sleeved black t-shirt, black sweatpants, black sneakers, black fingerless gloves, and a blood-red dog collar. Wheatley was curious why she was wearing a dog collar, and stared at it. She scowled. Not the best of first impressions.

"Hi! Who are you?" Turret was never afraid to jump into conversation with any old person.

She hesitated, then responded. "Midnight. What about you? I could swear I've seen you somewhere before. Especially you." She turned to Wheatley.

Wheatley looked confused, then turned to Chell. "This girl is crazy."

"Wheatley!" Chell whispered. "She's RIGHT THERE! Besides, she seems nice. And I vaguely remember her from somewhere, too… I just can't put my finger on it."

Wheatley gave her his _yeah, right _look and turned away.

"So, who are you anyway? GLaDOS didn't tell me about… well, you. What are your names?"

Everyone responded at the same time. Midnight's eyes turned gigantic. "One at a time?"

"Chell."

"Wheatley."

"P-Body."

"ATLAS."

"Turret."

"Mitchell." The unibrow kid responded.

Midnight snapped her fingers. "I DO know you! I baby-sat you when GLaDOS tried an experiment on you and you turned into babies!" *Note: FeepTheNinja was a special guest in 'The Average Life at Aperture Science'. It's by Xelac- one of the upcoming special guests in my fic. Check it out!*

Wheatley's face turned pale. "Oh, yes. THAT. But wasn't your name Feep?"

Midnight tossed her hair. "To be fun, I'm going to leave that a mystery for you. Besides, if I give you the word-for-word answer, The Fourth Wall will split in half!"

Wheatley's face went funny. "Ooooookayyyy?"

Chell smiled. "I remember you. Sort of. You look like... well, someone else."

Glados walked over. "Hello. Have you been introduced to Midnight?"

They all nodded.

"Good. She is 14 years old, but this was the only grade with kids close to her age."

"What?" Wheatley was completely lost.

"Listen," Midnight said, "I'd like to hang out with you from now on, if that's not too much a burden."

"No! Not at all!" P-Body responded. ATLAS kicked him.

Wheatley grunted. "Why does she get to stay?"

Chell pinched him. "She's new! Make her feel welcome!"

Wheatley sighed. "Ok. Go sit at the opposite end of our lunch table, and everything should be just fine."

Midnight laughed, and sat next to Chell.

"HELLO? DID YOU HEAR ME?"

"Yes, I did." Midnight smiled.


	16. The Journey

**Author's Note: Hello, faithful readers! My story is becoming more and more popular (YAY) but I just have something I want to say; usually, when you read this, you'll either want to look at reviews or leave reviews. There is an author named Turret (because he plays turret in this story) who keeps leaving negative reviews, because we're sort of… well, fighting right now. Oh well. On to the journey!**

"…So yeah, the Tardis is so cool! I was really happy to meet the Doctor! He's really nice. The Tardis kept calling him thief, for some reason. I also met this girl named Jenny, who may as well have been my twin! We don't have similar interests, mind, but we get along perfectly!"

"Hey, uh, Chell?" Wheatley responded. "Could we talk about something else? All this Doctor Who talk gets annoying after a while."

Chell frowned. "If you don't want to hear it, fine. I'll go sit with someone who'll listen respectfully." Chell grabbed her lunchbox and backpack and headed to another table.

Wheatley smacked himself. "Guys! She's never gonna talk to us again! WHAT HAVE I DONE? We have to save her! P-Body! ATLAS! Midnight! Turret! C'mon!"

"Hey, what about me?" Unibrow Kid asked.

"Sorry! Team's full!" Wheatley ran off, with ATLAS and Turret following. Midnight and P-Body stayed behind.

"Wheatley! She's probably just going to be there for a day or two!" P-Body called after him. Wheatley didn't hear him. He sighed.

"Well, we can talk." Midnight suggested. "You seem nice."

P-Body smiled. "You do, too! I wanted to talk to you, but Chell always interrupts before I can say anything. It's seriously annoying."

"Hellooooo! Still here, you know!" Unibrow Kid said angrily.

"So anyway, Midnight, what's up? How do you like the institute of learning?"

"It's nice," Midnight said. "But hanging out with you guys makes it a lot more fun." She seemed to be trying to end the conversation, because it felt awkward. She just wanted to do it gently, as not to hurt P-Body's feelings. "How about you?"

Wheatley, Turret and ATLAS ran through the hallways, until they reached a quiet spot.

"Ok, guys! It's time for mission rescue Chell! Any plans?"

Turret raised his hand. "Why don't we just have you apologize?"

"All in favor of disregarding that idea, say I! I!"

ATLAS and Turret remained silent. "One to two, you're out." Said ATLAS.

"Not quite! My vote counts as three votes, therefore, we will not use that idea!"

Turret's jaw dropped. "That's not fair!"

"We're here to help Chell, not be fair."

Turret scowled.

ATLAS raised his hand. "What if we talk to her instead of Wheatley? Then, He'll save embarrassment!"

Wheatley blushed. "Umm, no. I… I guess I should talk to her."

Turret smiled a smile of victory.

"Now, let's go!" Wheatley ran off.

Wheatley walked up to Chell, who was talking about Marmalade. "Oh. What?"

"Uhhh…" Wheatley was sweating. "I wanted to apologize. I was kind of rude, and…"

"Let me stop you right there. I just wanted to talk to my friends. I did anyway!"

Wheatley's face looked like this: O_O

Chell laughed. Wheatley turned around. Midnight and P-Body walked over. "Why didn't any of you inform me on that?"

P-Body punched him in the arm.


	17. A Really Stupid Argument

**Author's Note: Hey everyone! I wanted to mix it up a little. You know those 'Truth or Dare' and stuff like that fics where it's just people talking, like a play? (If not, see FeepTheNinja's Fic, 'Portal Truth or Dare.') Well, Chell and I get into some really stupid arguments, and I wanted to share an example for the world of FanFiction to see. Enjoy!**

Wheatley: Hi, Chell!

Chell: Hey.

Wheatley: Whatcha doin'?

Chell: Thinking.

Wheatley: About whaaaaat?

Chell: How come you're so evil deep down.

Wheatley: What makes you think THAT?

Chell: Well, DUH! You tried to kill me!

Wheatley: How many times do I have to tell you, that was because I was put into GLaDOS's body! Her crazy must have rubbed off on me. And besides, you agreed with GLapple… oops, I mean PotatOS that you did all of the work!

Chell: I never said ANYTHING!

Wheatley: Uh-uh! Not true! Remember? GLaDOS has your memory copied into her mainframe! Here! GLaDOS, play that tape! (_Heloooou!) THAT'S YOU! THAT'S HOW DUMB YOU SOUND!_

Chell: Seriously? That's not me! That's a pre-recorded message!

Wheatley: Oh.

GLaDOS: _No, it's not._

Chell: You aren't a part of this!

Wheatley: I seriously wish you would stop controlling me. *GLaDOS uses his hand to slap him in the face* OW! What was that?

Chell: That's what you get. (Laughs)

Wheatley: Very funny. Anyway, it seriously wasn't my fault! SHE practically POSSESED me! It's SO annoying!

Chell: The bottom line is you tried to kill me.

Wheatley: I couldn't even THINK while she did that! ARRGH! It's impossible to reason with you.

Chell: You can reason with me. You just have to know how. Show him, GLaDOS.

GLaDOS:_ Listen to me or it's neurotoxin time._

Chell: See?

Wheatley: …

Chell: This argument is OVER.


	18. Yet Another Really Stupid Argument

**Author's Note: This is just another really dumb argument… For people that are waiting for Xelac to appear, she'll be in the next couple of chapters ;)**

Turret: Wheatley, why did you put Turrets like me into cubes?

Wheatley: What?

Turret: WHY? IT'S…. IT'S INHUMAN!

Wheatley: Turret, I explained this to Chell…

Turret: INHUMAN, WHEATLEY!

Wheatley: Turret! Shut it for a second! I…

Turret: CHELL, BACK ME UP!

Chell: It WAS pretty inhuman.

Turret: SEE?

Wheatley: Chell, you're not a part of this!

Turret: THIS ARGUMENT IS OVER! I WIN!

Wheatley: But this chapter is so short…!

Chell: Ahh, whatever. The author never said it would be LONG.

*Fourth wall cracks*


	19. Xelac Arrives

**Author's Note: Hey guys. This is the chapter to introduce Xelac. You know her, right? Anyway…**

It was yet again Lunch Time. Turret was still mad with Wheatley, so they were kind of avoiding each other. Well, Wheatley was, anyway. Turret would not stop talking.

"Hey, another new girl?" Wheatley interrupted Turret. They all spun around, noticing a girl with a girl with long, dark blond hair and bangs. She wore a red shirt and a pair of jeans. She turned to Wheatley.

"…Waffles."

"What?"

"WAFFLES."

"Umm, excuse me?"

"Must I repeat it AGAIN? WAFFLES!"

Wheatley's face went funny, as it usually did when he was confused.

"CHELL, I DON'T LIKE HER."

"This seems like when you met me." Midnight frowned.

"Wheatley, you're terrible at first impressions." ATLAS smiled.

"Shut up, man. I know I am. You don't need to point it out."

"I'm Xelac." She smiled. "I'm gonna be here for a while. So you may as well get used to me. …Waffles."

"DANG IT!" Wheatley ran off. Everyone laughed.

"But wait," Turret said. "Won't this chapter be really short if it's over now?"

"Why, yes it will." Chell smiled.

The Fourth Wall formed a huge crack.


	20. Chelly

It was the end of Computer Class, and Turret and Wheatley were chatting away about what the true cake recipe was. Wheatley turned to Chell, who appeared to be staring at him, daydreaming.

"Um…" He blushed. "Chell? What are you looking at?"

She jumped. Her face turned bright red, and she ran out of the classroom.

"Umm, ok? So anyway, Turret, what do you think that was about?"

"What?"

"Chell. She was just… staring at me. Daydreaming. It was…" He blushed again. "…awkward."

+++++++++++++ (LOL trying new paragraph separators XD)

Later on, it was lunch hour, and Wheatley really wanted to ask Chell something. He didn't know how it would end up, but he knew he should. He hoped it would end well.

"Hey, Chell?"

"Yeah?" Chell swallowed a Pop-Tart. "What's up?"

"Uh… Um…" Wheatley was sweating.

"You forget?"

"No… Uh…"

"C'mon, spit it out!"

"Listen, I don't want them to hear…"

"Why not?" P-Body and ATLAS were staring at him.

Wheatley hesitated. "Because… Umm… I forgot! Oh well!"

Midnight turned to him. "That was quick. What a fail." She munched on some Skittles.

Xelac grinned. "Hey, Wheatlay!"

"It's WHEATLEY!"

"Whatever! Guess what?"

"What."

"…Waffles."

"ARGGH!"

He turned to Chell. "Can we go into the classroom early? I want to tell you… Privately."

A little before the end of lunch, Chell and Wheatley quickly headed to class. Once they arrived, Wheatley turned to Chell.

"Chell, I…"

"What's up?"

"Chell, I wanted to know if you wanted to… be… my… girlfriend." He bit his lip.

Chell's face turned bright red. "Umm… Sure." She smiled.

Wheatley's eyes turned huge. "Really?"

She nodded.

"…Wow, I didn't think you'd say yes!"

Chell turned to him. "Why wouldn't I?"

Wheatley smiled. "And one more thing, I need to repay you for something you did a while ago!" And he hugged her.

GLaDOS was giggling after every word she said. Wheatley's curiosity finally got the best of him.

"GLaDOS, what the HECK is so FUNNY?"

"_How's it going between you two?"_

Wheatley blushed. "What do you mean?" He asked sarcastically.

"_Listen, moron. I have cameras up all over the enrichment center of learning. I can also see out of your eyes. That's why I'm TALKING through you. Come on, how stupid do you think I am? Hey, guess what?"_

"What?"

"_Chelly." _She made Wheatley grin.

NOTE: Mister THE CRITIC and Turret, YOU WILL NOT Tell P-Body, Unibrow kid or ANYONE about this. Got it?


	21. Turret vs Wheatley

**Author's Note: I intend this to be really long; this was actually something that happened! I hope you all enjoy it; it'll make for a great storyline.**

Things were pretty hot between Turret and Wheatley. They were arguing about shoving Turrets into cubes day and night. Chell was beginning to get sick of their constant bickering.

"Will you stop?"

"I wish we could, but Turret won't stop calling me inhuman!"

"You ARE inhuman! You were taking harmless Turrets and…"

"You call Turrets HARMLESS? For one, those Turrets would shoot you to death if they could! Besides, I left the Turrets to do… well, whatever they do in their test chambers! I ACCIDENTALLY dropped a cube into the Turret production lines, and then they started being produced that way! So I just allowed them to be produced that way, and I called them mine. Is that a crime?"

Chell piped up. "But you did stop Turrets from being produced the way they should have been…"

"YOU be quiet! You took the model Turret off of the scanner. You killed tons of Turrets! They were ALL incinerated!"

That got Chell angry. "YOU told me to!"

"No I didn't! I told you to tell me if you thought of a plan! I wanted to stop them from being produced. YOU decided that it would be a good idea to switch the Turret model and kill all good Turrets!"

Turret chimed in. "Why don't you see what it's like inside of a cube! You should go and just sit in it for a while! See how YOU like it!"

"Hey, GLaDOS," Chell asked. "Can you take Wheatley's core and put it into a cube?"

GLaDOS made Wheatley smirk. _"Of course I will. I will with PLEASURE."_

Wheatley's eyes widened. "No… NO! NO! STOP IT!"

GLaDOS had grabbed Wheatley's core by crushing it.

"What? What's wrong?" Chell was alarmed.

"OWWW! NOOOO! STOP IT!"

GLaDOS had now violently shoved Wheatley into a cube.

There was a pause of silence.

"…Wheatley?" Chell asked.

No response.

"Wheatley?"

"…What?"

"I'm so glad you're ok…"

"I'm… not…"

"What? What's not OK?"

"My optic fell out…. I'm all smashed up… I'm barely still functioning…"

"GLaDOS, what did you DO?"

"_I got him into the cube, like you asked."_

"You SHOVED him in! You almost killed him!"

"_Correction; I DID kill him."_

"I can copy his memory; but I have to do it NOW!" Chell copied Wheatley's memory to a Flash Drive.

"Good…bye…"

And with that, Wheatley died. He died thinking of all of the good times he had, not knowing Chell had rescued him. He thought of ATLAS, P-Body, Midnight, Xelac, Turret, and especially Chell. He didn't think it was coming anytime soon, but he was really dead. It was over.

That's when it happened. Wheatley's soul and memory was copied to the Flash Drive.

"Hey!" Called the Flash Drive.

"What? Wheatley? Is that you?"

"Yes! Down here!" Chell looked at the flash drive, who appeared to be speaking.

"Yes! You're ok! I thought you were really dead!"

"Technically, I am. But my SOUL isn't! You saved my life!"

"It was nothing."

"No, it wasn't NOTHING! Are you KIDDING me? I'm LIVING because of you!"

Chell blushed. "Seriously, stop…"

"Ok. Sorry."

"Ok, Wheatley, about your core, I could have Jenny and Gareth try to fix it."

"That's… The girl from the 'Tardis' and my host body, right?"

"Yeah."

"Ok. But if Gareth isn't occupying the body... and I'M not occupying the body… who is?"

"Well," Gareth chimed in, "I'm currently occupying it. But when I leave, I have no idea who'll occupy it."

"Can you go help Jenny? The cube with dead Wheatley is in GLaDOS's chamber. Just bad luck, I guess." Chell noted unhappily.

"Ok, I'll go help her. Hey, can't Jenny talk through me when she's there? Like, in GLaDOS's chamber?"

"Yep." Jenny responded through Gareth.

"AWKWARD…" Wheatley the Flash Drive said.

Gareth collapsed to the floor, and got back up.

"Hello? Anyone there?" Chell asked.

"Taco Taco Taco…"

"WHAT?"

"MAKE ME A SAMMICH!"

"What the-"

"What is he doing?" Asked Gareth.

"YOU GONNA MAKE BISCUITS? YOUUUU GONNA MAKE BISCUITS? YOUUUUUUU GONNA MAKE BISCUITS? YOUUUUUUUU GONNA MAKE BISCUITS?"

"Hold on! I know what to do!" Wheatley whispered to Chell. "No, GIR. Never. And I never want you to mention biscuits ever again."

GIR's face stopped, and a random 'DUN!' noise was heard.

(Note: If you have no idea what just happened, or never really watched Invader ZIM, check this link: .com/watch?v=n1ZdtrobBKw)

"I'm lost…" Chell said unhappily. "Anyway, hey Jenny, how's Wheatley?"

"He's not so good…" Gareth said.

"I asked Jenny."

"He's not too good…"

"Oh, great. What does he look like?"

"Well, his optic fell out, and he's literally smashed to pieces. Don't come here- You don't wanna see your boyfriend like this."

Chell blushed. "How do you know about that?"

"GLaDOS showed the videos to me, before Gareth came in and shut GLaDOS down, thinking it was a light switch…"

"Now I have a real reason to kill her." Chell said angrily.

"Don't worry, I won't tell." Said Jenny. Gareth sighed.

"What's wrong, Gareth?" Jenny asked.

"Oh, um, nothing." Gareth said in a let-down tone.

"I'll be honest, Chell, I never thought he would ask you."

"Well, there's a reason why I said yes, but it's not really Wheatley that I like."

What she had forgotten was that Wheatley was still right there, and could hear everything she said.

Later on, Chell, Wheatley the Flash Drive, and GIR caught up with Turret.

"Make me a sammich!"

"Quiet, GIR. Well, Turret, I hope you're happy. You killed Wheatley."

"Technically!" Wheatley the Flash Drive said.

"Yes, I AM happy! Now he knows how we felt!"

"Turret, he TOLD you! They were manufactured with cubes. In other words, THEY FELT NO PAIN! HE DIED! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?"

Turret looked angry. "No, I DON'T."

Wheatley spoke up. "I heard what you said to Jenny."

Chell froze.

"Good to know. Good to know that you would say something like that behind my back. Thanks."

Chell looked at her Flash Drive. "I'm sorry, Wheatley. I-"

"You what? You're sorry NOW because you know that I heard you? Forget it, Chell."

Chell felt awful.

"Listen, maybe you can plug me back into Gareth's body, in the back of his head. Just try it."

Chell plugged the flash drive into Gareth's head. GIR passed out, and then got back up.

"Wheatley?"

He gave Chell a funny look.

"Are you… ok?"

"Who're you?"

"Oh, no…" Chell said.

"_There. Now he won't remember anything. Start from scratch." _GLaDOS said in a sing-song tone.

"You're kidding me! Now he's DEAD?" Chell screamed.

"_Well, technically, he's lost in my data banks…" _ GLaDOS seemed to have shut down.

"Don't worry, Chell!" Chell could hear Jenny. "We're onto locating Wheatley! My dad's fixing his core! Just focus on taking care of… Well, technically baby Wheatley."

"Baby?"

"All he remembers is his creation. So just… make sure he doesn't hurt himself. Only for a little while."

"Ok then…"

Xelac walked over. "What's his problem?" She looked at Wheatley, who seemed fascinated at his own hand.

"Oh, it's a long and boring story… You'll learn it eventually."

Xelac frowned. "I want to know what happened."

"Uhhh… Chell looked around. "CAKE!" She pointed in another direction. Xelac turned, and Chell ran away, dragging Wheatley with her.


	22. Minecraft

**Author's Note: I'm so dumb sometimes. I was writing my fic, and then noticed after finishing Turret vs. Wheatley that I had caught up to myself in real time. Wow. What a fail. Anyway….**

Seeing as he only saw Chell at school, Wheatley was at home. He had no idea what to do, so he just sat in his bed… and waited for the next day to come. All weekend.

He finally decided to do some exploring. He looked around the house, and found a laptop. He opened it, and looked at the icons on the desktop.

There were 4 icons that caught his attention particularly, for reasons he did not know; Portal, Portal 2, Portal 2 Authoring Tool, and something called Minecraft.

He didn't know why they stood out to him. In an attempt to find out what was so great about them, he clicked on the Minecraft icon. The game opened up. He eventually got the hang of it, and built a full-on house with a basement. After 6 hours.

He didn't really get what was so great about this game. To him, it was choose bricks, destroy other ones, create some, and avoid random Creepers. It was just another game. Honestly, what piqued his curiosity? He had to know.

He went onto this strange thing called "Google" in which he searched "Minecraft". He learned about something called a 'mod' for this game. He looked into it, feeling interested. There were many special mod packs for Minecraft. Multicolored blocks… Enrichment centers…. Portal Guns… wait… WHAT?

Wheatley looked into the Portal Gun mod for Minecraft. He saw a video about it. It reminded him of something that seemed… so familiar…

That's when it hit him. The other games he notices. Portal? Portal 2? What was going on?

He tried downloading the Portal Gun mod for Minecraft, but it didn't seem to work. He tried it multiple times in different ways. Nothing seemed to work for him.

So he played Minecraft a little more. He gave it some thought, and then had his character look down. He just started randomly breaking blocks and falling farther and farther… Until, total darkness. The message 'You died!' popped up on the screen. That scared Wheatley half to death. This all made sense now. The reason why the Portal Games piqued his curiosity? There was no reason. He was dead. That explained everything. Wheatley decided that it would be safest to just return to bed… for the rest of eternity. He truly was clueless.


	23. The Problem with Chores

**Author's Note: I think it may be best that I apologize for that last chapter. It didn't have much to do with humor, just a bunch of pure randomness… Like I said, I caught up to myself in real time. What's my next chapter going to be, myself writing a Fanfic? How about NO.**

Wheatley silently lay in his bed, waiting for the time to come that he went back to the Enrichment Center of Learning… it seemed to be forever. Even though it seemed that, it was just 48 hours. What am I saying? 48 hours is a looooooooong time.

Wheatley was having trouble entertaining himself. He could always use the computer, but after the Minecraft incident, he was petrified of computers. He knew that if that happened in Minecraft, it could sure as heck happen in any other computer game.

His mom peeked into the room, noticing him slouching on the couch. "Would you like to do some chores? They may turn that frown upside down." She said sarcastically.

"Sure!" He replied happily, although he had no idea what on Earth a 'chore' was.

The first chore was taking out trash. How exciting! He grabbed the bag and emptied it into a barrel, then brought it down to the curb outside. He thought that he would be eager for more, but he was actually extremely bored. But he had so many more to do.

After the trash was cleaning. He picked up every toy and wiped every speck of dust until he collapsed. But there was more.

He then had to wash the dishes. That was incredibly boring. When would this agony end?

After several more chores, it was bedtime. Without brushing his teeth or washing up or anything, he eagerly hopped into bed. He started fake-snoring to keep his mom from telling him to come brush his teeth. It didn't work. He was so tired, he almost fell asleep while brushing. The day was finally over, and tomorrow he would see Chell again. Finally.


	24. The Truth

**Author's Note: Just a warning: This and the next chapter are REALLY sad. Not necessarily ending the story, but they are sad. Just be ready**

The bell rang and the school day began.

Wheatley's memory was being downloaded by Jenny, who had located it in the data banks, to GLaDOS's dismay.

Wheatley only had one memory left to download. Wondering what it is? I'll give you a hint; Chapter 20. If you haven't read chapter 20 yet, go back and read it before you read this.

The memory downloaded. Wheatley remembered what he asked Chell. He almost wished he didn't remember it now. He still had feelings for Chell deep down, but at the moment, he almost thought he hated her.

He only followed her around during the day because he would have gotten lost without her guidance. Turret? He was just kind of there.

Wheatley had been arguing with Chell all day. He forgave Turret, but not Chell. He felt as if he could never forgive her.

"So, Jenny, did Chell tell you who she liked on the Tardis?"

"Yep."

"Who is it?"

"Why would I tell you?"

"Because I asked!"

"Well, that's not good enough."

"Dang."

He turned to Chell. "I need to ask you something."

"Hold on. You got all your memories back, right?"

"Yes…Why?"

"Never mind. Continue."

"Why did you say 'yes' when I asked you… Well, you-know-what."

"Because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Now that I see you reacting like this, I probably would've said 'no' in the first place."

"That would've hurt a lot more."

"Trust me, it wouldn't have. I would go back in time and change it, but that could kill us."

"I'd prefer that right now."

"Wheatley, I know it must hurt, and I'm sorry, really I am. But don't try that. It's stupid."

"It'd be better than this. Don't you agree, Turret?"

He nodded happily. "Do I get my Field Trip to the Incinerator now?"

"Sure. And.." He made sure Chell was listening. "I'LL COME, TOO."

"Wheatley, stop!"

"Hey, GLaDOS…"

"STOP!"

"…Would you take me and Turret on a trip to the Incinerator?"

"_GLaDly_."

"STOP IT, NOW!"

"Ok, fine. GLaDOS…"

Chell was relieved.

"Would you take us to the Turret Redemption Lines, instead?"

"WHAT?"

"_Once again, GLaDly. I will do anything you like, if it involves your death."_

"Bye, Chell. You too, Jenny. Not that anyone would care."

"Wheatley, maybe I don't like you that way, but I don't want you to DIE!"

"Well, it's too late now. You wanted revenge on me. I wanted to prove that I didn't mean any harm. You BROKE MY FRAGILE HEART. I…" He started crying. "I really LIKE you! I tried as hard as I could to get you to like me too! I thought you DID like me! When I heard that you didn't, I wanted nothing more than to die! And at the very worst, you said it BEHIND MY BACK! I can't even IMAGINE what you said other times… Well it's too late. I'm going now."

"_Ouch. Burrrrrrn."_

"Shut it, GLaDOS!" Chell said angrily.

Tears flowed down Wheatley's cheeks. "None of this was worth it. I wish I was never created." And he dropped to the floor.

"Wheatley? WHEATLEY?" No… He couldn't be dead. He couldn't. Death wasn't Chell's idea of revenge. She wanted to get even with an April Fools' Day prank. But it was too late. She couldn't save him now.

Gareth got up. The first thing he saw was Chell crying. He didn't know she could cry. But here she was. Crying her eyes out.

"Chell, what's wrong?"

"Wheatley… He's dead…"

"No, he's not."

"Yes he is! I didn't copy his memory!"

"Jen-"

"Just STOP!"

"No, really, Chell. Listen. Jenny rescued him. He's charred, but safe."

"Wh-What?" Chell sniffed. "Really?"

"Yes," Jenny said through Gareth. "He's fine. He's got a little scar, but that can easily be fixed."

"Wheatley… Why would you DO that? I… I thought I had lost you…"

"You didn't. But if it weren't for Jenny, you would have."

"What about Turret?"

"He's… not so ok."

"Oh, no."

"Well, we don't even know if it was really him. Just a Turret. It kept saying 'Take the Lemons!' though."

"Oracle Turret. He was nice."

"You can't save everyone, Chell."

"That's what I hate. If I could save everyone, I would."

"We know."


	25. Unpredicted Events

Wheatley was not in the best of moods. Chell was happy that he was safe. He didn't care at all anymore.

"Hey, Wheatley." said Jenny.

"What."

"I think… You're cute."

Wheatley stopped. "(o-o) …Uhhh…" He blushed. "This is a joke. Set up by you and Chell. I don't believe it."

Jenny made Wheatley kiss his hand, and then gently put it on his mouth.

Chell saw. "Ohhhh…."

"It's NOT a joke."

Wheatley was in shock. He just sat there, staring into space.

"But… You were always so mean to me! How could you like me? Besides, I wouldn't understand if ANYONE liked me." He looked at Chell accusingly.

"When a girl is really cruel to you but doesn't want to see you get hurt, 75% of the time, it's because they like you."

"Look, I said I'm sorry… I don't even want to get off on this tangent." Chell got up and left.

Wheatley bowed his head and tightly shut his eyes. He started crying again.

"What is WRONG with me… I finally find a girl that I really like, and now she hates me! I… Why can't I just LIKE her?"

Tears spilled out of his eyes.

"What about me?" Jenny reminded him.

"Look, you're nice and all, and I hate to say this, but I don't like you in that way! I mean… Thank you for saving me… But I… ARRGH! THIS is why she doesn't like me! Because I can't convince her that I'm LIKEABLE! I just… I'm AWFUL at telling people how I feel. She probably HATES me! I… I just don't CARE! GLaDOS, just take me to the Incinerator! I don't want to be here anymore!"

"Wheatley, NO!" Although to the point of crying, Jenny still didn't want Wheatley to die.

GLaDOS dropped his core into the Incinerator. It burned.

Chell ran over. "I didn't get him in time…"


	26. A Minor Question is all it Takes

**Author's Note: Hey everyone. I'm really sorry about the extremely long delay. There's just been some stuff going on and… well… yeah.**

**Anyway, my computer's hard drive crashed for a while. Only now am I able to use Microsoft word again. Yay!**

**So… enough stupid delay. On with chapter… Crud, it's been so long I can't even remember which number chapter this is…**

It was just a normal day at the Institute of Learning. Wheatley was up to his usual shenanigans. For instance, he was working on a power generator by strapping a Turret to a Malfunctional Turret. That didn't end well. The functioning Turret shot and… well… explosion.

Soon after that, it was time for Academic Enrichment, or AE. Wheatley wasn't occupying Gareth's body. Finally, Gareth had returned.

"Hey, can I read your comic book?" Chell asked him.

"Sure," Gareth answered. "It's in my bag. Hold on a sec."

He passed her the book. Then he looked up at her.

"Hey, uh, Chell?" He asked nervously.

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to ask…"

"What?"

"Uhhh…"

"Come on, I won't bite."

"All right." He swallowed. "I wanted to ask you if you would be… my…girlfriend."

She looked at him. Then, she smiled. "Y-yeah! Definitely! I…I would love to."

He hugged her. But that's when it only began….

:D:D:D:D:D Happy face Scene separators. Who knew?

A kid named Danny was in Gareth and Chell's class. He was Gareth's friend, but didn't like Chell as much. He caught a glimpse of them hugging.

"Whoa whoa whoa. What's going on here?"

Gareth blushed. "I was….hugging her?"

"GARTH AND ADRIENNE ARE GOING OUT!" He screamed. He spread the word to everyone. So much for 'secret'. And yes, Danny called Gareth 'Garth'.

Being made fun of was everywhere. It was impossible to avoid. It was unfair. And it couldn't be stopped.

Was it worth staying together? Of course. They had Turret's approval (Which was hard to receive). Not to mention, P-Body and ATLAS. They were supportive. They did their best to stand up for their friends, but it just wasn't always easy. They would just have to put up with it.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D (ok, maybe I'll find a new separator…)

Wheatley was not in the best of positions. Jenny had left. Just like that. The Doctor had simply taken her with the TARDIS and left abruptly. There was no 'goodbye'. There was no leaving party. There wasn't anything. She was gone. Wheatley's first girlfriend. Gone.

He was extremely upset, as you can imagine. Chell tried to comfort him. He never wanted her comfort, however, because of what she had said before. Those words haunted him.

'_It's not Wheatley I like…'_

His head was pounding. At that point, once again, he felt as if he didn't matter. Had no point in living. And wanted no more than to be incinerated. So that's what he asked GLaDOS for help with.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

GLaDOS's robotic arm had Wheatley's core dangling over the incinerator. She let go.

Wheatley dropped into the incinerator, helpless and innocent as could be.

(Narrator: Who likes sad endings like that? This chapter isn't done yet!)

He was in the midst of the flames billowing in the incinerator. His optic opened. He was fine. Perfectly unharmed. Even in the middle of the fire, he was fine.

"_All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin…."_


	27. Hugging Helps

**Author's Note: Hey everyone. Sorry about the really long delay once again. I decided to make up for it, write 2 chapters instead of just one. That's two chapters for the price of one: $0.00! That's a REALLY good deal, you know. By the way, check out Turret's new fic, 'Turret's POV'. Yes, his name is Turret. Just search 'Turret's POV' To find a brand-new story about the guy who plays Turret in this story's point of view of how it all went down. CHECK IT OUT…. That is, AFTER you read this chapter. ^-^ **

Yes, even though Wheatley was not occupying Gareth's body, GLaDOS still had half-control of Gareth's right arm. It truly was a strange sight.

"Hey, Turret, can you attach Morality to GLaDOS?" Chell asked.

"Sure."

Turret stopped moving for a minute, then looked up at Chell. "Done."

At complete random, Gareth started hugging himself.

"Uhh, Gareth? What the heck are you doing?" Chell looked at him.

"I have no idea. But I can't stop."

"Don't you both know how friendship keeps us all together?" Gareth said in a robotic-ish voice.

"GLaDOS, stop hugging my boyfriend!" Chell slapped the arm off of his shoulder, which just grabbed right back on.

"This is so weird." Gareth said with a confused face.

GLaDOS continued to hug Gareth. All. Day. Long.

(Narrator: Ok, this is all wayyyyy out of character. You reviewers out there take note: YES, we realize that people are out of character. YES, that's on purpose. And YES, we're going to leave them out of character s long as we want, and you can't do a darn thing about it. :D)

"Hey, why do we suddenly have a narrator?" Gareth asked. The Fourth Wall cracked.

(Narrator: This story's author watched a few episodes of Sgt. Frog and got into the 'narrating' thing.)

"Oh, ok." Gareth said.

(Narrator: And so, the author didn't have enough time to finish the chapter, and it was posted with only 348 words. So I apologize for the inconvenience, and likely the next chapter will be longer. So that's all. Bye!)


	28. A Note to Readers PLEASE READ

**Hello there, world of FanFiction, specifically The Half-World.**

**I really can't believe that you people thought I was serious. From the very beginning, I WANTED this story to be stupid. And, from your reviews and responses, I achieved my goal!**

**Just cuz you guys are fun, I'm making another version of this story that's actually serious. I've decided that this story is NOT coming down, just so people can laugh at how AWFUL it is. It wasn't really the most fun to write, honestly. It had its moments.**

**Anyway. Specifically to the Half-World, I think that every here-and-there I'll post new chapters, purposely stupid. I expect you to post them to your site! I love reading the little comments of its stupidity. ^^**

**Anyway. As a final note, the updated version of this story will have:**

**-NO CHELLEY**

**-Characters IN-CHARACTER**

**-An actual storyline**

**-Randomness that's actually funny**

**-Xelac being more random instead of Waffle-loving**

**-No unexplained character-swapping**

**-Mute!Chell (not final decision)**

**-All robots shall remain robots, minus Human!GLaDOS**

**And other stuff. Hope you enjoy, and happy reading!**

**-BoomerangFlower123**


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